Going Through The Motions

Sometimes all you can do as a man is just go through the motions, or fake it til you make it.  Do you know what I mean?  There are pressures all around us as men; family, work, church, community endeavors and the like.  We are pulled from so many different directions, all with one thing in common, somebody needing us to come through once again.  It's no wonder men everywhere are falling to alcohol, porn and any other cheap escape they can find.  I've found it in my own life to be quite maddening at times.

What is a man to do when he finds himself being pulled in so many directions at once?  I mean we can't go cry to our mommies (although I've met a few who still do that). There has to be something to help us, dear God please let it be so.  Otherwise I might just scream!  Does anyone else out there even know what I'm talking about, or am I the only one?

The world tells us to perform to find our self worth.  Do more at work! What do you mean you can't do the yard work and spend 70+ hours at your job?  What kind of man are you anyway?  Aren't you Superman? The world will make you feel like a true loser if you continue to try and go its way.  It's not set up to help men get ahead in life, it's there to tear us down.  The god of this world will see to that if you let him.

So what is a man to do?  First take a look at this passage of Scripture:  "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."  Matthew 11:29  I put those words in red, because they are the words of Jesus himself.  He is telling us to take His yoke and learn from Him.  Now at a casual glance Jesus telling us to put a yoke on, a fella could think that all He is talking about is you and I adding something else to our list of things to do.  But that really isn't what He is talking about at all.

I've heard it said that when people would yoke together two oxen, they would pair an older more established ox with a younger one to train the younger. When Jesus is telling us to take His yoke and learn from Him that is the picture of what He is telling us.  Come on, let me show you how to do this life.  He is our example of how we should live as men.  He didn't come to put more burdens or heavy loads on our already taxed lives, He came to show us a better way.

I don't mean to say that He came to show us how to be lazy, because all throughout Scripture the Lord tells us that we are to work and provide for the needs of our families, but we can learn from the examples that Jesus left us in the Bible as to how we can fulfill all that is required of us and still find enjoyment as well. One of the things that I absolutely love about Jesus in the Scriptures is that He never got too busy to spend time with His Father in prayer.  Time and again you see Him going to a solitary place by Himself and praying.  That should really be our first clue to a satisfied life.

Jesus was able to accomplish all that He did because His priorities were in the right place. How about yours?  Do you spend time with the Father every day? Or is your prayer life more like based on when you need something from Him? I have found that a time of being in the Bible daily, and talking with God on a regular basis is the most important thing in my life.  Does that mean that this keeps me from making mistakes?  Not really, but I wonder how many more mistakes I'd make if I wasn't doing this.

To bottom line this for you men, it's tough at times to meet all the needs that we have, but it is going to be even tougher if you aren't spending quality time with God every day.  So get out of bed thirty minutes earlier than usual and spend some time with Him and in the Bible each day and see if your world doesn't begin to get just a little bit better.

Strength and honor for the Kingdom and the King!

Where Is Your Pile Of Garbage?

One of my jobs at home is to see to it that the trash is emptied and taken to the dumpster.  It's something that I have been doing for most of the twenty-five years that I've been married.  I usually toss it into the back of my pickup truck and dispose of it on my way to work.

About a month ago my truck broke down and has been sitting in my driveway ever since. Because of this, I have been unable to take the trash to the dumpster.  The only problem is that we have continued to have trash accumulate in our house, so I have been tossing the bags of trash into the back of my truck thinking that eventually I will either get the truck fixed or find another way to dispose of it.

Today after getting home early from work, I decided that before showering, I should bag up all of the trash in larger trash bags that weren't soak from the morning's rain and get it all to the dumpster.  Well while re-bagging a month's worth of garbage I began thinking about trash in regards to people's spiritual life.  You see what I found out is that the further down into the bags of trash I got, the more nasty it all became.  And this is  just how it is with all the junk that we hold onto in our hearts.

Everyone has things that they have done, or have had done to them that invariably try to tangle us up and hinder us in life.  Jesus (through the Apostle Paul) told us to get rid of all those things that try to hold us down. (Hebrews 12:1)  And the longer that we hold onto those things, the smellier and nastier they get, just like that month old trash at the bottom of my pickup truck.

What things are you holding on to, that perhaps you should get rid of?  Have you taken a look at yourself lately?  Are you stinking?  If so, then do something about it.  Don't lay there wallowing in that filth, give it to the Lord, remember He said to cast all of your burdens (stinky trash) onto Him. (1 Peter 5:7)  We weren't meant to carry that junk, so give it to the Lord and let Him remove the stink and shame in your life.

Tomorrow is Easter, we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus and His defeat over the devil and the works of evil.  How about a fresh start?  Find a church near you that preaches Jesus and go find the God that has been looking for you ever since you first graced this planet with your presence.  He loves you, stink and all, He just doesn't want you to stay smelly...so come to Him and let Him clean you up.

Strength and honor for the Kingdom and the King!

Which Voices Do You Hear?

Why is it  that we so easily give in to the enemy?  We decide to make a stand to do what's right and true according to God's ways and immediately the enemy is there whispering in our ears telling us it can't be done, most of the time through the voices of our friends and family.  And if we are not careful, we will buy into his lies and answer back, "Yes, this can not be done."

In the story of David and Goliath (found in 1 Samuel 17) every thing was set against David.  The giant was much bigger and way more prepared as a warrior than this ruddy complected young man, his brothers were against him, and even King Saul told him that defeating the giant couldn't be done. Even Goliath talked to him telling him that he was going to kill him.  If ever there was someone who had no one on his side, it was David.

I really love the heart of David throughout this story.  He is not dismayed when his brother calls him out in front of the other soldiers, he just says, "All I did was ask a question!"  Then turns from his brother to ask another man what would be done for the man who killed Goliath.

When the king hears that David will face Goliath, he tries to talk him out of it, and David ends up encouraging Saul by telling him of his past victories over lions and bears when he was taking care of his father's sheep in the wilderness. Taking it all back to the covenant that he had with God (something which Saul and every other Israelite actually had access too as well).  David knew where the true strength of his abilities came from.  Finally, David ignored the voice of the giant as he taunted him, turning Goliath's own words back on him and saying that this battle belonged to the Lord.

There comes a time in every man's life when you are going to have to stand up and ignore the voices that try to keep you from fulfilling what God wants you to accomplish.  It will not be up to anyone else to see that it happens, but you. This is where the rubber meets the road so to speak, and you will be tested to see if you truly have what it takes to come through.

This happened in my life a few years ago, and I had to ignore the voices of some of my closest loved ones in order to see God come through.  I was taking some men on a men's weekend boot camp based on the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge.  I knew that this would be a powerful time for the men, and was looking forward to attending it myself.  The man who was going to drive the van for me was in a car wreck the morning we were supposed to leave and had been taken to the hospital.

I received the news about this while I was in the shower.  While shampooing my hair my wife asked, "Will they (the event people) refund his money if he ends up not being able to go?"  I didn't respond, I just continued getting ready for work.  As I drove to work, I received another phone call with the news that I should make other arragnements concerning the van and who would drive it as the man probably wouldn't be going with us on the weekend.  As I hung up the phone, something on the inside of me rose up and I had to say, "No!"

I began talking with the Lord, telling Him that I knew this man wanted to go, he had actually been the first to sign up and pay his money for the trip months in advance   I knew that it was going to be an important weekend for him, and really wanted to see him make it.  The Scripture Matthew 18:19 came to my mind, which says, "I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you."  So I made a decision right then to believe God, and not listen to the other voices I'd been hearing that morning.

When I talked with the man later, I asked if he still wanted to go, and he said that he did.  So we agreed together according to Matthew 18:19, and believed God.  He left the hospital, and made it to the church in time for us to leave.  He didn't drive the van, but he did attend the weekend and only took two pain pills the entire time he was there.  He told me later that it was such a good weekend for him, and that God had done some things in his life that wouldn't have happened otherwise.

It was amazing to watch God work, and the only reason that it happened was because I decided to believe what the Word of God said instead of listening to the words of others that I had been hearing that day.  I'm not saying that the other voices were evil or of the devil, because they weren't.  You see even when Saul was talking to David about not fighting Goliath, it was out of concern for his welfare.  His motives were good, even if they weren't helpful to God's cause.

Sometimes we are forced with a decisions of whether or not we are going to believe what is true, even in the face of concern from our friends and family. Jesus said that the things He did we would do, and even greater things also, (John 14:12) but we have to believe that we can do them first and then act on what the Word of God says in order to see it come to pass in our lives, regardless of what any other voices might be saying.

So I guess my question is, which voices are you listening to today?  The ones that say it can't be done, or God's voice which says, "Dare to believe Me, and see it done."  If we're not listening to the words of God, then maybe it's time we got into His Word and started listening.  Just a thought.

Strength and honor for the Kingdom and the King!

Being A Dad...It Ain't Easy

There's a song from years ago called "Cats in the Cradle" which was written and performed by Harry Chapin.  It's an interesting song about a guy who was too busy for his son when the boy was growing up and then as the father begins to have time for his son later on in life, the son, following in his father's footsteps now has no time for his dad.

Really it's kind of a depressing song, yet it is one that I like to listen to often.  I do so, not because I'm one of those people who get off on depressing, dark stuff, but rather because it helps me to stay on track with my own children, even though my son is 20 and daughter turns 18 tomorrow.

I've been told that I'm a good father by many people in my life, and while I do believe that, there have been many, many times where I wondered how much counseling my kids were going to need once they became adults.  I'm trusting that the Lord will work out anything that I may have done wrong with my kids.

You know it's funny ~ there is an instruction manual for just about every thing out there, except for raising children.  Oh, I know we've got the Bible and I thank God for that, but how many of you have looked cover to cover trying to find answers for something not specifically talked about in the Bible?  I just thank God for the Holy Spirit and His counsel when there are no clear answers in the book.

Let me tell you a funny little story about my youngest son Noah.  He went to be with the Lord about 3 years ago, so I can tell this story without any repercussions from him.  It was probably six or seven years ago and I was emptying the bathroom trash can when I saw a condom and condom wrapper on the top of the garbage in the can.  I immediately knew that my youngest son had once again been rummaging about the house and had gone through my bathroom drawer where I kept them.

Actually I'm pretty proud of myself, I followed the leading of the Holy Spirit and just waited for the perfect opportunity, which actually came later that day.  I was sitting on the porch when Noah walked by and I said, "Sit down for a minute son, I want to ask you a question."  He sat down and I asked, "Did you get into my bathroom drawer today?"  He said, "Yes."  So I continued, "Do you know what that was that you found?"  At this he kind of just sat there not saying anything, so I explained in vivid detail what a condom was used for, and how it is actually used.

As the blood was leaving his face, I realized that he had actually been blowing it up like a balloon.  The thought of him turning one of my condoms into a balloon still brings a smile to my face to this day.  The point of this story is that this particular circumstance wasn't covered with chapter and verse in the Bible.  But by following the leading of the Holy Spirit I was able to educate my son and have a great laugh with my wife later.

I think one of the most important things to remember while you're raising your kids is to "be there" when you're there.  Don't just check out when you get home after work, engage your kids in conversation, dance with your daughter or wrestle with your son ~ just be there, then you'll have no regrets once they grow up and move out.

Strength and honor for the Kingdom and the King!

Of Course I Love You, I Married You Didn't I?

Men what do you do to let your bride know that she is loved by you?  Do you buy her things?  Take her out dancing?  Sit in front of a roaring fire and gaze longingly into her eyes, sharing your deepest and most intimate thoughts? Perhaps you take her to the firing range and shoot off a few hundred rounds. Or maybe you just make sure that things around the house are fixed and taken care of.

You know as many different women as there are on this planet, there are at least that many or more ways to show her how you love her.  The real question is, are you even doing anything?

A friend of mine talked about how he was counseling a married couple one day and that after the wife poured out her heart and was in tears she said, "I just feel like he doesn't even love me."  To which he replied, "You don't know if I love you?  I married you didn't I?"

Now while this is kind of humorous, it does point out a need, and that is that your wife needs to know that you love her, really know it.  Just because you married her isn't enough.  It is a continual thing.  What I've learned in my own life is that one of the problems may be that you are loving her in a way that doesn't really mean anything to her.

There is this great book out there written by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages.  In it he explains that there are five distinct ways in which people show and receive love, they are:

1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Receiving gifts
4. Acts of service
5. Physical touch

Let's say for instance that your bride's love language is physical touch, and that your's is acts of service. To you, she seems clingy, and to her you seem disinterested in her.  This is because you are both loving each other according to how you like to receive love, and it will cause you to end up wondering why your spouse doesn't seem to get you.  As Gary Chapman puts it, your love tank is on empty.

The first thing you need to do if you haven't read this book is to go and get a copy of it.  As you read it, you will begin to see what your spouse's love language is and how she needs to be loved.  If you will take the time to make the necessary corrections, and begin to love her in the ways that she needs, you will see your relationship grow by leaps and bounds.

There is this great little song in the movie Enchanted that I love.  Right before this song the characters are talking about how the man loves his fiance, but Giselle asks him how she knows, and he says, "She just does."  After the song, you see them with the fiance and she is going crazy kissing him and telling him how she loves the flowers, wondering how he got the doves to bring them to her.  She is also excited that he is going to take her to the King's Ball. (Something during the song that he said would not be fun)  It is pretty evident that her love language is receiving gifts.  Take a look at the video, it is one of my all time favorites.

Now, I don't know of any man who would cut off his arm or leg on purpose (unless it was  crushed under a boulder of course).  So why is it that we insist on loving our brides the way that we think they should be loved instead of taking the time to find out exactly how she needs to be loved?  To me that's kind of like cutting off your arm for no reason.  So let's find out, and then start to love our wives the way that they need our love, not just the way we "think" they need it.  

Strength and honor for the Kingdom and the King!